I love the He For She “movement”. I think it’s very nice and props to Emma Watson because her speech was good and I guess that it managed to get the ball rolling again and gave the opportunity for men to show that they were feminists.
But what annoys me is how we need to tip toe around every issue by repeating over and over again that being a feminist doesn’t equal being against men. This constant reassurance we have to give to men so that they don’t feel pushed aside is a bit upsetting when most times than not, most men in public debates don’t have the courtesy to do the same (because if we ask for them to “tone things down”, then we are considered weak and unable to “ride with the big boys.”) We’re sugar coating an issue, creating a safe space for them and it’s okay, I guess you need to start somewhere.
But it’s annoying that we NEED to create this safe space so that they don’t feel endangered by the mean/aggressive/independent/sexual feminist. It’s funny that they feel threaten by women basically acting like men always did/still do. We have to show Emma Watson because Beyoncé wasn’t doing it for them. We have to contrive to a certain image of what they think feminism should look like, a soft-spoken, well-spoken, unthreatening woman for them to accept and hear it.
Again, “not all men” but most men patronise women and their beliefs. They shove you aside when you explain to them that whistling at a girl in the streets creates a climate of insecurity. They roll their eyes and say “come on, you are overreacting.” when you say that a guy touching girls’ butts in the streets as a “prank” is still considered as sexual harassment. And you know why? Because they are not women so they won’t ever totally GET it.
So yes, I think it’s amazing to open this gate for men to be a part of feminism, but they always had the opportunity to do so. What annoys me is that we had to soften our speech so that we could be heard and it would be great if every men finally understood it, but seeing how Emma Watson got hacked, I don’t think it’s the case.